Wedding Invitation Wording Etiquette

Wedding invitation etiquette can be a sticky one especially if there are divorced parents involved but don't worry there are a few easy rules to follow so that you get your wedding invitation wording etiquette just right for the occasion.

In olden times the bride's parents paid for the wedding so the invitations would be issued by them, but now it could be the couple themselves or both sets of parents who are paying, so you'll need to agree between yourselves who is to issue the invitations.

Casual Wedding Invitation Wording

This will vary a bit depending on whether parents are issuing the invitation or whether the couple are doing so but in general this style is acceptable:

"John Brown and Sally Smith would like you to help them celebrate their marriage" then don't forget the basic information about the wedding:

Date, time and location of the wedding

Time and location of the reception (or evening party as appropriate)

Where to reply to

If Sally's parents are issuing the invitation then the wording would read James and Jennifer Smith would like you to help them celebrate the marriage of their daughter Sally to John Brown or similar.

Casual wedding invitation wording can include song lyrics, poetry or anything else the couple want.

Formal Wedding Invitation Wording

Wedding invitation wording etiquette says that a formal wedding invitation should read as follows:

Mr. & Mrs. James Smith

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter, Sally

to John Brown

at Holy Trinity Church, Burton

on Saturday 21st October, 2012 at 11:00am

and afterwards at the Queen Victoria Hotel, Christchurch

RSVP The Cottage, River Road, Burton

Now we'll look at the wedding invitation etiquette if either set of parents are divorced or re-married. What do you do about step-parents? Do they expect a mention? Are you going to offend someone if you get this wrong? Here are some suggestions but in the end you'll need to avoid hurting anyone's feelings so just do what you think is right.

Sally's parents are divorced but neither has re-married and are both hosting the wedding:

Use the format above or if they prefer it, list Sally's mother's name on the first line and her father's on the second.

Sally's parents have both remarried and are jointly hosting the wedding. Sally may wish to break with tradition and mention her step parents in which case Sally's mother and her husband's names should be on the first line with her father and his new wife's name on the second.

Neither of Sally's parents is living:

The invitation should be issued by whichever family member is hosting the wedding or by the couple themselves.

The Groom's parents are issuing the invitation:

Use the wording as above but include the bride's surname: i.e.

Mr. & Mrs. Peter Brown

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of Sally Smith

to their son John

The couple are paying for their own wedding:

They may still wish to issue the invitation on behalf of Sally and/or John's parents or if not, they use their own first and last names.

Requesting a charity contribution rather than a gift:

It is very poor wedding invitation etiquette to even mention gifts but most invited guests will enquire if there is a wedding gift list. The other members of the wedding party should be encouraged to put the word around as to what the bride and groom would prefer.